GETTING INTO BDSM?

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It is recommended you take your time and have lots of communication with your Play Partner or

Pro Dominatrix /  Mistress.

You will find someone you can talk to and confide in or seek a professional within the BDSM community to guide you through in safety and confidence... 

... but please make sure they are they healthy kind of person to be around.

If there is no one to talk to ... There is lots of material on the Internet you can research.

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You can tiptoe into the shallow end of the pool by trying:

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• Light spanking (very light, NO marks)

• Light biting

• Tying up with handcuffs / Rope / scarf 

• FooD Play

• Humiliation 

• Verbal Abuse 

• Role Play 

• Cross Dressing

• Cos Play 

• Discipline 

• Light orgasm denial

• Sexy/kinky clothing

 

 

WHAT IS BDSM?

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BDSM = Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism.

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S&M = Sadism & Masochism /  Sado-Maso  This is where we get the S&M 

(although SM or S/M is the more commonly used acronym).

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BONDAGE = Being tied up or restrained for the purposes of erotic enjoyment, aesthetic display, or somatosensory stimulation. This can include, rope, tape, stocking, ties, or anything that renders the person immobile. 

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DISCIPLINE = Using Rules and Punishments to control or correct behavior.

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Punishments are always discussed and agreed upon ahead of time. It can include: Lectures, Physical pain, Mind Fuck,Humiliation , Psychological / Physical Punishments, Loss of Freedom ,  .....

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DOMINANCE & SUBMISSION = The power exchange between two people.

One having control over the others actions.

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BDSM KEY TERMS & CONCEPTS TO KNOW ?

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CONSENT  :

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One cornerstone of any healthy, respectful BDSM encounter. It is “an informed, uncoerced, enthusiastic, revocable permission for something to happen at or over the legal age of consent.”

People agree to play whether through a formal contract, verbal agreement, or casual conversation ,

 anything that clearly communicates they are aware of, educated on, and comfortable with the terms set forth.

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 SAFETY & SAFE WORD :

 

Since BDSM walks into the realm of risky (in varying degrees) both Players must be aware of and

do everything that can to avoid or minimize possible unwanted injuries, disease, or danger.

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A common choice is the Traffic Light System: to gradually go Further ... with Safety. 

 

• Green (keep going)

• Yellow (getting near my limits)

• Red (immediately stop)

 

 

SAFEWORD : 

A given SafeWord is a COMPULSARY Word Given to Prior BDSM Session, "RED" usually used as STOP !

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SANE :

Be Healthy, Truthful , Sensible and have a realistic frame of mind that is free from Psychological or Mental Health Disorder.

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LEARN ABOUT LIMITS : 

Limits are something you should talk about before you agree to play 

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SOFT LIMITS : 

Something a person is uncomfortable with, can be consented to but requires a cautious approach.(“I’m willing to try anal beads, but we need to move really slowly and be prepared for a safety word.”)

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HARD LIMITS :

Under no circumstances can the action be done, violating a Hard Limit is just cause for ending a scene and sometimes a relationship.(“Under no circumstances can you slap me in the face or insult me.”)

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MUST LIMITS :

Something MUST happen in a scene/play.(“You need to give me lots of kisses.”)

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TIME LIMITS :

A set period of time which a Scene or Session(e.g. contract) will last.("We will play for one hour, and one hour only.")

 

"NO" LIMITS :

 Total Power Exchange, Consensual & Non-Consent (highly controversial in the BDSM community)

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MISCONCEPTIONS & STIGMA :

Society and, in a large part, media has misrepresented and painted some BDSM practices as something dark, violent, and disturbed. (only those who were abused or are Crazy like such things).

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It is a rather large injustice to a BDSM community that is full of wonderful, kind, open people.

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We need to be careful not to pigeonhole people into categories based on single glimpse or a thimbleful of knowledge about that person’s life.

 

Understand, it’s all measured in experience and perceived extremes.

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One person might equate a strap-on with an elephant-sized dildo as grounds for divorce, while another could call it a normal Saturday night.

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Even hair pulling, biting, and scratching nails down someone’s back during sex falls within the BDSM realm .... It is just on the lighter side.

 

As long as it is SSC ( Safe Sane Consensual ) and RACK ( Risk-aware consensual kink ) agreed  between the people, it is really nobody else’s business!

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You’ve also heard the term “coming out” ,  it is not only for the gay community. You can find it in the BDSM world as well.

 

Many people choose to keep their lifestyle a secret for fear of judgment or repercussions ... like losing your job because your boss thinks you’re going to whip out a flogger in the middle of your business meeting (even though you haven’t in the five years of previous meetings). Some, however, choose not to hide their preferences. This is also classified as coming out.

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One last thing to keep in mind ... You can try something and not like it. It is just as okay as trying something and loving it.

 

Explore, Try, and Embrace your BDSM ... But above all, be SAFE .

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